FANTASTIC FOUR #387-392 (1994): 1st Devlor and Vibraxis

I’m going to do a large block post here because Tom DeFalco’s Fantastic Four is awful. Reed Richards is “dead,” and the team learns that Doctor Doom is “alive.” A guy named Dark Raider is doing bad stuff and he’s Reed Richards from another Earth. And HE looks like Invincible Man.

Of course, 616-Universe Reed’s not dead and the Dr. Doom is really Nathaniel Richards. And Johnny was married to “Alicia,” who was actually Lyja the Skrull. There’s also the Malice being that Sue turns into sometimes. And a different Watcher masquerading as Uatu. And the Psi-Lord version of Franklin Richards. Nobody is who they appear to be.

Now, it’s time for Johnny and Lyja’s baby to be born.

human torch's baby is an egg

Only it’s not a baby.

IMG_1796

It’s an egg. A golden egg.

I don’t think I’ll be discussing this baby much anymore, so I’ll just let you all know what happens: It’s not really Johnny’s.  It’s name is Raphael.   Raphael doesn’t like that Johnny barely knows him and leaves with Scott Lang and Prince Namor in issue #392.  Far as I know, he’s never been seen since.  He hatches into a bird.

These issues represent a severe nadir for this comic.  It doesn’t get much worse than this.  There’s also an implied tentacle rape in a story featuring Marvel’s underwater crew: Namor, Triton, Stingray, etc..

And speaking of sex, Scott Lang likes Namor’s gf.

fantastic four #387

So much innuendo in these issues. Here’s more:

sue battered

“Violating me on every conceivable level of reality.”  And we can’t see below the waist?  Wow.

All this can’t be a coincidence.

And yet I feel the same way.  Tom DeFalco has overstayed his welcome on F4. He is violating my love of this comic.

Anyhow, Sue may get violated in the panel above, but in the panel below she’s pretty badass in how she penetrates Galacuts.

Human Torch is stillin love with the skrull who pretended to be Alicia, got him to marry her, and then gave birth to an egg.  The egg is taken by The Collector because it’s a unique object.  Torch and Lyja try to fight off Collector but fail.

The rest of the team can’t help because they, with Namor, are busy looking for Franklin Richards. He’s been kidnapped to a “What If?” world, and Uatu the Watcher breaks his non-interference oath to get the FF to go to that world (ostensibly to save Franklin). And that alternate reality is one that got all messed up after Uatu broke his non-interference oath.  Got it?  Watcher interfered, screwed up an entire reality, so he interferes again to try to fix it.

Uatu is so stupid sometimes.

Anyway, that evil Reed Richards is behind it all.  We get a huge time-stream/alternate story with Inhumans and Avengers joining in, and in the end The Watcher breaks his noninterference oath in a pretty major way…By killing Reed Richards.  But don’t worry, in the end it’s revealed that this Watcher is Aron, not Uatu.  And that’s an alternate reality Reed.  And here’s his funeral:

This “cosmic,” dimension-hopping storyline isn’t confusing or stupid, it’s just boring.

fantastic four tom defalco

We did get a very cool cover out of it, though, paying tribute to King Kirby….

fantastic four #390

This story also introduces Vibraxis (of Wakanda) and Devlor (an Inhuman) who will later be part of a spin-off comic called Fantastic Force.

And the team breaks up at the end, so that Fantastic Force (above) can form.

I don’t know what I did to deserve these comics.

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