Two things: First, this book should get the award for most misleading miniseries cover of all time, because Dr. Doom is barely in it—he shows up at the very beginning and
the very end. Second, I liked it. I didn’t expect to, and there’s a lot of major problems with it, but I liked it.
It starts with Dr. Doom realizing he has a son in Hollywood and he doesn’t want a son because he might reflect badly on him. I’m told that when DonaldTrump’s wife gave birth to his son, his wife suggested that they name him Don Jr. and Don Sr. said, “What if he’s ugly?” Same kinda thing here, I think.
Anyway, from there it’s a weird love affair that comes straight out of left field and goes nowhere. Beast is in Hollywood and sees a Dazzler poster…
…And suddenly realizes she’s pretty. From there, he becomes obsessed.
He visits Wonder Man and crouches on his desk to point to a newspaper, and Wonder Man even tells him to chill: “She didn’t seem to care much about you.” So, that can be a bro telling a bro to ease back, but Beast is pointing to a headline that says Dazzler has disappeared—so it’s weird that Wonder Man doesn’t even care. Like I said, weird.
He eventually finds her and there’s a bunch of stuff with weird mutants, and a lot—a LOT—of very melodramatic dialogue. And Beast and Dazz act way, way different than the every have or ever do again.
The mutants involved are The Gladiators, who I am tagging collectively–they basically have a mutant fight club.
Eventually, the story merges with an illegitimate Doom son, who is named Alexander Flynn and is a complete nincompoop. He never appears again, and I understand that later he gets retconned out of existence.
The main thing about this is that there was no reason for it to be a miniseries. It really is just a Dazzler story. And there is REALLY no reason for there to be two Dazzler comics on the stands at the same time. She’s just not a good character.
But like I said, for some weird reason, I liked it. I also acknowledge that there is no good reason for me, or anyone, to have liked it.
Oh, and Poltergeist from the Spider-Woman comic is in it. Totally random.
In the end, Doom shows up and ends the senselessness of it all.
I liked it, but I can’t explain why and there’s no reason for it to have ever existed.
The main reason why this miniseries came off as so disjointed is because it was written by a woman, from a woman’s perspective. I love women, for who and what they are, and for their purpose, but I have been reading comics my entire life- and, so far, that has been one seriously long life- and female-written comics quite more often than not play out like Country-Western stars trying to perform Opera, or rappers trying to perform Classical music, or NBA stars trying to perform ballet. It’s just…………..disjointed. Superhero comics are just, simply, not just a ‘dude’-thing, but a WHITE dude-thing, as unpopular and unwelcome in some circles as that postulation may be. I have no problem with Dr. Doom having illegitimate offspring hither, thither, and yon, for the simple reason that Dr. Doom is the Mick Jagger of the supervillain set- when he feels like getting laid- it’s gonna happen! A very interesting, and very brief, sequence in 1976’s ‘Super-Villain Team-Up’ #6 underscored this point, although, on that particular occasion, Vic failed to press his Royal Advantage. But, it is very, very, reasonable to assume that Dr. Doom has illicit offspring everywhere- just like Jagger! Vic and Mick! Two of a kind! Under this same logic, I cannot understand why Marvel has, to date, only given us three offspring of Mephisto/Satan- Daimon Hellstrom, his late sister Satana, and Blackheart! You would think that if there was any being in existence with more illegal offspring, it would be the Devil himself, right-???!!! ( another one of Mick’s guises! ) I further understand that maligned minorities like mutants, homosexuals, blacks, Jews, etc., are very determined that they are going to be accepted into society, but this sequence where the Beast shows up in downtown Hollywood wearing nothing but his diaper was idiotic!! If nothing else- where does he keep his wallet-??!! Even Avengers and other professional adventurers are expected to conform to the norms and standards of society, and that includes wearing clothes in public! If I were walking down Main Street, USA, and I saw an ape walking around in a diaper, I would assume that there has been an escape from the local zoo, and dial 911! A set of clothes on Hank’s body would go at least a light-year towards the dispellation of that concern! Even a pair of Bermuda shorts, and a Hawaiian luau shirt, which Hank favored in those days! I also have no trouble with Hank’s instant infatuation with Alison Blaire, for the simple reason that, what red-blooded man WOULDN’T fall in love with Alison Blaire-??! Even Hank’s lifelong chum, the Angel, fell under her spell, beginning in ‘Avengers’ #211, and carrying through into Alison’s own series, roughly from issues # 17 to 22! The romance went nowhere, because, apparently, ultra-wealthy, super-handsome, super-brave super-heroes with big, beautiful white wings who have participated in the salvation of the planet at least fifty times over, are not the Dazzler’s speed! She undoubtedly favors free-spirited, bearded, guitar-playing, dope-smoking, unemployed dipshits who don’t have a nickel to their names! In Hank’s case, he DID have that secondary-mutation pheromone-mojo working for him which first manifested itself in ‘Avengers’#164, which made him irresistible to the fairer sex! Now, if I were the Beast, and I were aware that I had this working for me, you are DAMN RIGHT I would be going to see not ONLY the Dazzler, but the Scarlet Witch, Psylocke, Dr. Valerie Cooper, and, most especially, STORM, as well!!!! How curious it is that the Scarlet Witch, in particular, seems to be completely immune to this aspect of the Beast’s powers, especially how closely together that she and Hank have worked together over the years, on the Avengers! When you think about it, there is absolutely no reason why there shouldn’t be little hairy demi-Beasts running all over the 616- just like all the Jagger-breed!! With that pheromonal mutant-mojo working for him, the Beast should be getting all the “satisfaction” he WANTS- and, THEN some! X-celsior!!